JonesyLovesBlogs

atdaleunderscorea:

Testing this out. I really feel like this could be a good outlet for me, to just post things. Things I like. Things I hate. Things I need you folks to see. A place to call my own. We will see what happens. I could not even finish this thought. You see what I mean? This was made to fail.

This is Dale_a, embrace him as I have. You’re soul will be better for it.

(Source: atdaleunderscorea)

nerdcast:

• by Jonesy

Looking back, I’m not sure the Flash TV series had any impact positive or negative on my love of the character, or comics in general. But what it did manage to do was effect the lives of four young men (who had no idea of what they were in for) and led them to create possibly the most accurate drinking game for any show based on just four or so episodes. I present to you all:

The Flash TV Series Drinking Game

Rule 1
Name: Murals
Drinks: 1
Explanation: Apparently during the show’s one season run the set designer’s son was also a struggling artist who specialized in murals. As a result, in nearly every scene there is a colorful and unique mural. Due to the frequency of this rule’s appearance, we’ve assigned it one drink.
Example: There is a mural of a horse in Barry’s crime lab. Yes, I just actually typed that.

Rule 2
Name: Shipp-Cleave, or ‘Shippage’
Drinks: 2
Explanation: Because of the nature and majesty of John Wesley Shipp’s appealing chesticles and what seems on the surface to be a condition of his contract, in nearly every scene he is showing more cleavage than the female character he is having a dialogue with.
Example: Barry is wearing a shirt with four buttons undone, Tina is wearing a turtleneck.

Rule 3
Name: Flash Walks
Drinks: 2
Explanation: The Flash would often zoom onto a screen just to do every other motion slowly and methodically. Even when faced with danger the Flash would continue to move at regular speed and then often simply walk off screen when the scene had ended.
Example: Barry super speeds into Tina’s office only to slowly and deliberately walk out as Tina tries to convince him to submit to some random and harmless monitoring.

Rule 4
Name: Absurd Science
Drinks: 1
Explanation: Barry and Tina often explain away story elements by stringing together words that sound either important or scientific. No research has gone into any of the terms, as they only exist to move the story along.
Example: When Tina covers for Barry while confronting Iris in the pilot she claims she’s the local ‘Genetic Fingerprint Analyst.’ Worse, Iris buys it hook, line, and sinker.

Rule 5
Name: Inappropriate Time Reference
Drinks: 2
Explanation: Attempting to capitalize on the the success of the Burton Era Batman Franchise, the Flash attempts stylizing sets by combining modern technology, steam punk, and antique cars and cameras, and yet some how still includes modern era set pieces. When they all jumble together in a single shot, this rule is in effect.
Example: Julio pulls up in a 1955 jalopy, Barry arrives in his red Taurus, but takes out a neon lit crime kit.

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In case you don’t have the internets (which is a pointless setup. I recognize this because if you didn’t have the interweb, you wouldn’t even read this) then by now you realize that DC Universe Online has been delayed into the first quarter 2011.

So now, boys and girls, you won’t be able to make your own DC superhero, and my number one gift that I want under my Christmas Tree will not be there.  I’m sure, somehow, this is Ge-off Jones (Read: Geoff Johns) fault.

And really who wants to delay these potentially great characters that could be roaming the streets of cyber Gotham, straight from my brain?!

Speedster: (inspiration: @sex_pack)

While working in his brew house late one night a micro brewer stumbles on an ancient recipe for beer that also doubles as a mystical door in to the speedforce.  Unfortunately our hero, The Tap, must consume this beer daily to maintain his speed, causing most others to see him as a common drunk.  They just don’t understand him! 

Street Hero: (Inspiration: My Irish heritage)

Thousands of years ago the Celts decided to train a secret, generational champion that would have all the power of Ireland at his disposal through secret Celtic magic.  Unfortunately, generations of bad PR on the Irish’s part and his own affinity for whiskey and cigars makes Captain Stout less than credible as an Irish Captain America.  Also, his choice of traditional Irish weapons which rely on doing a fair amount of bludgeoning to criminals often make his methods seem brutal.

Flying Hero: (Inspiration: Grant Morrison)

A young man inherits the family business: producing a great selling world renowned single malt scotch.  Through his exploration of his family’s history he discovers an ancient talisman in the original distiller.  The talisman grants him abilities well beyond those of mortal men.  Unfortunately, removing the talisman also makes the family scotch suck.  His business shuts down, he gets divorced, and now lives the life of the superhero ‘The Distiller’ and is looking for a secret ingredient out there that will return his family to glory.  Irony.