JonesyLovesBlogs

In case you don’t have the internets (which is a pointless setup. I recognize this because if you didn’t have the interweb, you wouldn’t even read this) then by now you realize that DC Universe Online has been delayed into the first quarter 2011.

So now, boys and girls, you won’t be able to make your own DC superhero, and my number one gift that I want under my Christmas Tree will not be there.  I’m sure, somehow, this is Ge-off Jones (Read: Geoff Johns) fault.

And really who wants to delay these potentially great characters that could be roaming the streets of cyber Gotham, straight from my brain?!

Speedster: (inspiration: @sex_pack)

While working in his brew house late one night a micro brewer stumbles on an ancient recipe for beer that also doubles as a mystical door in to the speedforce.  Unfortunately our hero, The Tap, must consume this beer daily to maintain his speed, causing most others to see him as a common drunk.  They just don’t understand him! 

Street Hero: (Inspiration: My Irish heritage)

Thousands of years ago the Celts decided to train a secret, generational champion that would have all the power of Ireland at his disposal through secret Celtic magic.  Unfortunately, generations of bad PR on the Irish’s part and his own affinity for whiskey and cigars makes Captain Stout less than credible as an Irish Captain America.  Also, his choice of traditional Irish weapons which rely on doing a fair amount of bludgeoning to criminals often make his methods seem brutal.

Flying Hero: (Inspiration: Grant Morrison)

A young man inherits the family business: producing a great selling world renowned single malt scotch.  Through his exploration of his family’s history he discovers an ancient talisman in the original distiller.  The talisman grants him abilities well beyond those of mortal men.  Unfortunately, removing the talisman also makes the family scotch suck.  His business shuts down, he gets divorced, and now lives the life of the superhero ‘The Distiller’ and is looking for a secret ingredient out there that will return his family to glory.  Irony.