The Lord of the Bored (A One Page Story Written for my Wife)

There are places in this world where the borders between imagination and what we actually perceive is very thin.  Some people call it shared experience others call it multiple dimensions, but despite the fact we label it, we are no closer to understanding it.

Why do we all think of the Lord of the Rings the same way?  We hear the words ‘Elf’ or ‘Wizard’ and we can all imagine the same things… is it because we are conditioned to know the definition of something or is it because whether we know it or not we are sensitive in some ways to this other place, this shared imaginary plane just around the corner from everything we know.

It’s because of these places, that fantasy lives…


When Kathyrn Anne awoke on the morning on February 8th there were many things racing to her mind as her eyes fluttered open.  Errands, wedding details, bits of conversations, and the quickly fading memory of a dream assaulted her senses as she cruised through her morning routine.  It was in this time she often let her mind drift, if just for a momentary respite, or a longing to go back to sleep and comfort, or maybe something closer to both.

A stirring in the other room, a sleeping fiancé with a snore that drove her to the edge of insanity and dangled her there, reminded her that real world was out there to be handled and her momentary fantasies would have to wait.

Giving daily instructions to the snorer and a fleeting kiss, she donned her stone gray hooded coat and stepped in to the morning.  She closed her eyes tight, waiting for a cold blast of winter air.  Seconds passed as she waited to be brutalized, but instead her senses lied to her as she stood there, unable to now open her eyes.  It was if the brain could communicate to her, but she could not give it commands.

Warmth on her face, the smell of iron (like someone had just pressed metal), the sound of voices and animals, and the feeling of …. turf in her toenails?  

Finally the vice on her mind relaxed, she opened her eyes to be greeted by…. the Shire?!

She recognized it instantly, as many worn out Tolkien DVDs would attest to.  Alarms went off in her head and she presented herself with options:  Still sleeping, insanity, anything other than what she was seeing.

Without turning she felt a presence next to her, she turned her head to see her stunned fiancé appear.  He looked around, calmly, turned his eyes to her and said almost amused, ‘I think I have elf ears.’

-Jonesy, who wrote this story because his wife feels sick and needed some cheering up.

  1. jonesylovesbeer posted this